It’s been a while – Pressers 27th Aug

Without further ado, let’s start off

Gigging Order – Management of Zenit St Petersburg

“To go wrong in one’s own way is better than going right in someone else’s”

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment
Gigging Order today announced his appointment as the new manager of Zenit St Petersburg quoting these more than apt words from the the Russian classic as he sets out to rip out the nucleus of the old team in terms of staff and approach and begin a new regime, in which he will insist on being referred to as Tsar Gigging.
Perhaps even more appropriate is which book this quote has been taken from, with many saying that after the disgraceful way he left his previous club Newcastle (By pushing the owner Mike Ashley out of his executive box and tumbling down the concrete steps to Row B) he has his just rewards for his act by taking on this role as his next move in management.
Gigging however is excited about the challenge ahead and insists Zenit were his first choice (they were actually his third) and now has his eyes set on romping his way to the league title as well as with a few Russian maids.

Kings of Lyon – the new man in charge of Eintracht Frankfurt

After a great start to the season the new man at the helm of Eintracht Frankfurt was delighted at his new position – “I am really happy to be here in Frankfurt with team with a rich history. In recent years the form has not been there but I am here to change all that”. “I was wary when picking my squad for the weekend but the players have delivered so far and I can’t see anything but 3 points”. I am however, concerned with the injury to our main man upfront, but I have a few replacements I mind so hopefully this shouldn’t affect us long term.

With the injury to his star striker KOL was asked if he would have to rejig his squad to incorporate these changes – “Initially I feared the worst and I thought I’d have to strip the squad to fit new players in, but now ive had time to assess I think I’ll be ok, I’m sending scouts to watch the game in Liverpool tonight. Hopefully I can get some strong feedback which will make my decision easier.
When asked about his strong bench KOL responded with a smile- “I chose my squad so that I had strength in depth I knew that there would be weeks when my bench would impress me but luckily this week the players on the pitch done the job”.

Its still very early days but signs are looking good in the Eintracht Frankfurt camp.

A few snippets of the banter between ENR and Sporting

ENR – Sporting, If you think you’d seen the worst over the summer, you were mistaken! Be ready to be shamed. ;)

Sporting – ENR, my FFS summer was spent with Christina. i know no fear……

ENR – You maybe a Hazard free zone, but when I Michu you will be Barfed to a Graham of Cole.

Sporting –

Enough trash talk. you’re Borini me.

Cech my Vorm. i have Krul Hart and no mercy will be Given.

my performance will leave you Petric-fied!

Cabaye Bye!

(discussions about team sheets, translated into blah, blah, blah)

Sporting –

sorry, didn’t mean to Bale and leave you Hange-ing.

is my starting XI a Gra(ham) area? or does it pick itself Per Sie?

i’m not going to Rangel with you any longer, i’m very Santi-Chelsea.

can you trust this line-up or am i just like Pienaar-chio?

That’s it for this week. If I have missed any of your pressers, I apologize in advance. Please mail me the link again at

5 thoughts on “It’s been a while – Pressers 27th Aug

  1. Hey guys was just experimenting with Word Press and thought I’d give it a go. Put one post up for GW3 if yous fancy a read – didn’t wanna spam up FFS and here so just set one up to make things easier for long posts. Cheers in advance 🙂

  2. I too have to post my press conference.
    When should I do it?


    The supporters of SC Brest are now officially “au-dessus de la lune” after the team’s early lead in Ligue 1, due in no small way to the bold move of the Breton club’s directors to take on an English manager in AFC Bournemouth fan Shipstontrev. They were obviously aware of his FPL record over the last 6 seasons, although they were probably more aware that he needed the money so would be cheap.

    Speaking to assembled members of the media (the sports reporter for “Le Journal du Finistere” and his dog ( a real newshound there!)), Shipstontrev thanked his new bosses for their bravery in employing a “rosbif” ahead of several French coaches.

    “I am honoured to be asked to stroke the Brest team”, he said. ” I know there were a few knockers when my appointment was announced, with comments like “pull the udder one”, but I hope the two wins achieved so far, at home to Evian and away to Saint Etienne, show I will be doing my brest to put this club up front in the league. I hope things will continue, particularly when the weather turns colder and there is a nip in the air. I will work all the hours I can and do my utmost to ensure that things do not go tits up.”

    Shipstontrev asked for patience, saying there was a long way to go, that the league was a Marathon not a Sprint. Unfortunately this last comment confused the reporter from the Journal du Finistere, as he was under the impression that Marathon was a chocolate bar, so this was lost in translation. C’est la vie!

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